WFH—10 things that make me SMH

Words & Illustrations by Trudy Darmanin

WFH.

A total buzzword acronym that I didn’t even know existed until a couple of years ago and then hit me like a brick when I was told to pack up, empty my office locker of all my hoarded snacks and go home, indefinitely.

A lot has changed since then, to the extent that I now work for a completely remote company regardless of whether a pandemic is upon us or not. It has its ups, it has its downs, and two years later I’ve finally found the time to pen out 10 truthful, unedited and unfiltered thoughts about what this experience has been like for me.

Without further ado, here we go:

1. “Today until 5pm, I don’t exist okay?”
Sharing the house with other people who have no inkling of how WFH works and still think that being home = I’m free to chat, gossip and be bossed around, this has become my life motto. Please, pretend I’m not here, I don’t exist, whatever, just leave me alone.

2. The postman really doesn’t ring the bell
I have now confirmed this urban legend. You just didn’t want to carry my package and thought your little “receiver wasn’t home” note full of lies would suffice.

3. Pets are needy.
My cat has an internal clock, I have found out, and if I don’t serve up breakfast, brunch, lunch and dinner by the exact minute of her choosing, I risk being evicted from my own house. How’s this dynamic working out for dog owners? I’d love to know!

4. Time is a loosely-defined concept
I can now stop to make myself a nice cuppa and have a good leisurely scroll down the news for a whole 20 minutes anytime between 9 and 5, and I can also wake up at 1am with a brilliant idea and work on it without weird side-eyes and anxiety attacks at being judged.

5. Is anyone else overspending on cute stationery from random Japanese websites since we moved to WFH?
It’s just me? Oh…

6. The Scandinavians have a point
Since working from home, I’ve really gotten into the concept of hygge and making my space feel, smell and look cosy. As fickle as it seems, I really am happier working in a warm, berry candle-scented room than a cold sterile office with posters in shouty caps telling me to wear my mask.

7. Why are my neighbours moving furniture around at 2pm every weekday?
Who needs to move stuff around THAT often? I mean really.

8. Google is your bestie
If you can’t bother IT guy at the next desk to see what Error 405958387 means, you’re going to have to google it and fix it yourself. Jokes aside, this really was a learning curve – sometimes I spend more time googling something than actually doing it, and that’s completely fine! If you’re not learning, you’re not growing, something or other.

9. Working in your pyjamas won’t make you lazy, unmotivated and unproductive
Scrap what all those WFH Tips articles say! Another urban myth busted by yours truly.

10. “You’re on mute!”
Needs to become a t-shirt slogan. Take my money and give me one in every colour.

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