5 times in 2022 we wished it were April Fool’s Day

words by Glenn Galea

It’s only the first of April 2022, but so much has already happened in the past three months that they are starting to feel like years to me. Living through them and then looking at highlights of the past quarter earlier this morning feels like Game of Thrones Seasons 1, 2 and 3, set in modern times. Frankly, reality slapped me right across the face a little too frequently in the past three months, and with enough force to make me go, “Is this happening for REAL real?!”

From inexplicable globally-adopted behavior to horrendous history changing events, with a side of random pop culture moments that trigger the perfect sequence of involuntary convulsions in my arm to ultimately result in a painful facepalm. And also, there was some good stuff out there, but who the hell remembers that, you know?

In any case, here are the absolutely definitive top 5 moments in 2022 when we (people that agree with me, and myself) wished the universe were playing an April Fool’s prank on us but sadly wasn’t:

1. War on Ukraine

I mean, if this didn’t top the list, I don’t know what would. What is happening in Ukraine is undoubtedly a modern-day tragedy. I find myself in a constant internal conflict between wanting to be as informed as I can be about it, but also not wanting to hear any more because it saddens me that this is actually happening right now. The Ukrainian people and their culture is not something that I knew very much about before any of this, just some footballers and boxers, but hearing some of the stories that are coming out of Ukraine—I mean, I could not be any fonder of them and their leadership and I deeply wish that they didn’t have to go through what they’re going through right now.

Slava Ukraini 💙💛

2. Anytime COVID restrictions are in the news

What, you mean to say, it’s still out there?! I am by no means a COVID denier, but it’s starting to feel that the power of the disease is directly proportional to the amount of media attention it gets. We have figured out how to deal and live with the flu 2.0 and things are finally opening back up again. Governments, just be cool and live and let live, okay?!

3. Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars

I want to preface this by saying, I’m a big fan of Will’s, fresh prince was my jam, big fan of his rap, the Men in Black movies, yada yada. With that being said, WTF did you do Will? Besides tarnishing a moment that many consider the pinnacle of an acting career and having a televised assault charge on record, what did you accomplish with that, Will? To respond with violence to a joke (that frankly was kinda tame) is unacceptable. And assaulting a smaller guy?! My thoughts; 1—Censorship of any kind is against my core beliefs, 2—If instead of Chris Rock, The Rock was saying that joke, none of this would’ve transpired… picking on the smaller guy is cowardly and straight-up bullying dude and 3—I still believe its possible this whole thing is scripted (sue me!).

4. Doomsday-type weather days

Spring started, right? It doesn’t feel like it at all for me, the weather has been very weird lately and it seems like people across the planet are experiencing similar phenomena. Some days it rains enough to flood everywhere, other days the winds were so strong that I’ve seen some kites flying some kids, and just yesterday the sky was a vibrant shade of yellow and I felt like I was being slow-cooked in dusty greenhouse. I’ve looked up at the sky a fair amount of times recently and wondered, “Really now??”

5. Rihanna’s pregnant with A$AP Rocky’s baby

Yup! That’s right; if you didn’t know, now you know. My heart goes out to all the other idiots and idiotettes (we don’t discriminate over here) like me, that felt a little sad and jealous when they learned A$AP Rocky knocked up bad-girl Ri Ri. I can’t articulate why exactly I felt that way, I just know it caught me by surprise and, you know, it’s bittersweet to see the love of your life with another man or whatever, and I think a lot of people can relate to that.

Hope you enjoyed this list. Like if you liked, comment if you don’t like or don’t agree or think I missed something, but most importantly, share regardless and check out Impeached 😉

This opinion piece is sponsored to you by my not for profit and totally fictional organization; ‘No need to get your panties tangled in a bunch, it’s just my opinion.’

Peach Out.