Debugging Tales

The politics of female self-pleasure remains still an unexplored and unchartered territory for
so many women out there. From history all over the world, the pleasures of the female sex,
in general, have been (and still are in some countries) tabooed and locked away by many
religious and tribal sanctioning – from women’s sole purpose in sex is to give birth or
pleasure men to still-practiced FGM (Female Genital Mutation) – these are just instances of
what women all over the world are still going through.

But we don’t need to give weighty examples to indicate the repression of a female’s sexual
pleasure. Though many first-world countries have definitely moved giant milestones in their
discussions about sex, still the topic of female pleasure – both with own self or with other
partners – is still scarce and mostly limited even to women themselves. In fact, it is not
uncommon to have a giggly-shy reaction from other fellow women when it comes to
discussing self-pleasure – deducing just how misinformed and consequently how immature
we are about the subject.

Guilt complex over our right of pleasure?

Let’s start with sex and partners, After numerous confrontations with women on the
argument of masturbation, vibrators, and asking their partner about better sex to reach better
climaxes, two kinds of answers emerged when they answered a solid NO to any of the
above.

The first response hits rather on the defensive and goes on about how their partners are
well-enough equipped and experienced to provide the necessary pleasure. The second kind
of response is that they don’t want to offend their partner in thinking they are not good
enough – with the end result being sex reaching a standstill, with no space for the sexual
experience to diverge further. And that’s a shame because just like anything that is given
due course, sex is naturally a development process that helps us grow as individuals.

But sexual pleasure doesn’t just happen with a partner. Fondling and vibrators shouldn’t be a
novelty for not just single women, but to all women in whatever relationship. How can we
expect pleasure from other partners if we are unaware as to what stimulates our bodies?
Well, pull that sleeve up, and sing the song to that 50s poster – Yes You Can know your
body better with every passing day.

Orgasm no.1, Orgasm no.2, Orgasm no. 3, Orgasm no.4, Orgasm no.5, Orgasm n……

What is so great about women and sexual pleasure is that, unlike men, women do not need
a break to gear up from one orgasm to the next.

Plus, lo and behold! According to a study by health.com, women can orgasm in 11 different
way. Each orgasm is stimulated through the rubbing of different sensitive points in our
bodies including breasts, outer and inner vaginal points – all, individually or in one whole
cacophony of combinations, can make the female body literally quiver and cry with pleasure,
and generate different types of orgasms. The shame in all of this? Many women live all their
lives not being aware let alone experience a quarter of these orgasms.

However, we cannot just reduce female pleasure only to 11 different orgasms. The
possibilities with our peaches are endless. Our pleasure levels go up and down depending
on the mood, on the different body parts that change their level of sensibility every day, on
different timings of the day that generate different climaxes. Female orgasms move with us
as the everchanging women that we are.

Communication is Key

Biology equals facts and the almighty truth is this – sex releases the ‘happy hormones. We
are better people when we are sexually satisfied, and unlike common perception, sex drive
gets more intense with time; so whether you’re 20, or 40, or 60, you can bring that drive on.

Knowing our bodies is the first basic element to understand your very own specific turn-ons
and turn-offs – be patient with that. Getting to know your vagina is the same thing as getting
to know a person – it takes time, patience, kindness and dedication to know her better – and
who else is more positively invested than yourself to do that for your own hootah?

A second and equally important element is communication. Sexual pleasure shouldn’t be a
shy-away topic but rather a generic topic that can be seriously discussed; not just women
with women but also with everyone, regardless of gender.

When having a partner, irrelevant if it’s a relationship or purely platonic, it means you must
understand each one’s role to both provide and receive sexual satisfaction. Acting on the
defensive can be tricky to handle, but with patience and good communication, all mountains
can be climbed and all battles can be won.

Chin chin to future orgasms.